"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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