all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
