I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
you had me at cake vodka
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
