it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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