Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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