Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
So apparently I’m into choking now
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