May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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