I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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