so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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