awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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