just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
