WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
