apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
