You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
