ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
