There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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