I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
