why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
