remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
