i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
