I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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