I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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