How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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