u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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