You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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