its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
