yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
