The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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