lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Is it because I queefed?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Randomize
