If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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