I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
