Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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