Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
