:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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