i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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