All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
