My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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