OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
