spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
