You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
