she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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