So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
