you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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