sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
