Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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