i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
