You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I need water and some morals
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
