I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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