school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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