Jerry, you need to find god
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
